Conflict

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict – it can make you or break you. (Or at least shake your world up somewhat).

The thing is, while you’re not always able to dictate what the fickle fates may dump in your lap, you have a great deal more say in how you react to and deal with it. So, let’s talk about it – conflict management that is.

Conflict can be an internal state of affairs that’s messing up your mind, your emotions, and/or your body. Or it can be a case of you vs. whatever or whoever is on the other side of your skin.

GO WITH THE FLOW?

One way of managing (or being managed by) it is to yield to whatever you’re dealing with.

In other words, to go with the flow; to be like water. A mystic would say that eventually the softness of water overcomes and wears down even the hardest and most stubborn material. Wonderful. Now tell that to the salmon going against the flow and battling up river to eventually die – exhausted but fulfilled – in the headwaters of the mountain stream; the source from which new life springs forth.

In this instance, the down-stream path of least resistance leads to decay and dissolution; to death.

GO AGAINST THE FLOW?

So, going against the flow equates to resistance. According to the (in)effable Monty Python, “resistance is futile”, but as every baby instinctively senses, if you don’t resist gravity and climb UP on your legs, you’ll forever be a protoplasmic puddle (which is fine if your aspirations don’t exceed jellyfish-blobhood).

Moreover, and as every body-builder knows, resistance exercise is absolutely key to building a powerful foundation of muscle, gristle and bone.

ADVERSITY

Underlying the corporeal dimension of flesh & blood, there’s the dominion of spirit.

Spirit – in a similar vein to a volatile alcoholic brew – is potentiated by the process of heat, distillation and refinement. Spiritual qualities such as resilience, fortitude, courage, trust, humility and compassion – that is to say, strength of character – are firmed by adversity; are forged and tempered in the furnace of conflict.

Bear in mind too, that despite its negative connotations, conflict can be a powerful catalyst for positive change. Oftentimes it seems that we’re caught on the horns of a proverbial dilemma, viz., balancing, dealing with or reconciling the eternal battle between irresistible forces and immovable objects.

WTF (WHAT’S THE FIX)?

Hey, I can dig that you’d probably like to reach out and slap me silly – thank goodness that the ethernet keeps you at digital distance – for just reminding you that life is chock-a-block with seemingly irreconcilable frustrations and contradictions. You’ve got headaches and heartaches aplenty already – what you really truly want to know is … WTF – i.e., What’s The Fix?

First, back to basics. Conflict is a state of disharmony (which is stating the obvious), but there can be many factors and/or forces at play that create and feed it. Included in such are physical (intrusion into your spatial zones of control and comfort); psychological (mind games and dominance issues); emotional (manipulation via fear, anxiety, guilt, etc); bioenergetic (polarity, Qi blockage, and biofield disturbance).

One popular way of attempting to deal with conflict is to avoid it. Or ignore it and hope it’ll blow over. Or zone out and retreat into your safe space (aka meditation).

Another way is to sublimate, project and externalise conflict. For example, on occasion I’d mercilessly beat up my punching bag. That way, nobody got hurt, and it was an effective way of letting off steam to deal with toxic relationships or circumstances which could neither be healed nor avoided.

TAIJI

Succinctly, conflict – whether physical, psychological, verbal, or whatever – is a state of disharmony. So, effectively dealing with conflict requires re-establishing harmony. And for me, this is where Taiji (Tai Chi Ch’uan) is sublime. The name literally means the supreme ultimate. Whilst the origin of Taiji is a lethal fighting art, its practical application extends beyond that of a physical combat form. In actuality, it’s the art & science of conflict resolution. And that’s regardless of whether the focus of the practice is martial (physical altercations); or medical (internal disharmony – disease and dysfunctionality).

In essence, the practice of Taiji is about cultivating and establishing harmony – both internal and external. It’s a superlative process that involves you first tuning up and unifying the dimensions of your being – mind, body, breath, and spirit – as a prelude to harmonising the outer world. Then, when you’re caught up in altercations – physical, psychological, verbal, or whatever – you can make good use of your Taiji training to effectively solve / resolve, defuse / diffuse the tension.

Having said that, here’s a disclaimer: whilst there’s a multitude of different Taiji schools and styles, an important determinant of your progress and personal evolution is finding the appropriate teacher. In that regard, take to heart the Daoist idiom – when the student is ready, the master appears.

So, what are you waiting for? Make yourself ready, already!

KINERGY – THE ART OF HARMONY

On a final note, in classroom as well as clinic, I present Kinergy programs. This is a synergy of the most effective bioenergy, physical and physiological rejuvenation strategies – Western & Eastern; Mainstream & Alternate.

Want to find out more? Book a free session with me.